Battered

Battered, broken,
I lie here now,
my soul in tatters,
my dignity lost,
never to be reclaimed.

I have given up.
Never shall this dream come to be,
never shall I succeed here.
My time and effort have been wasted.

I stare at my ceiling
daring it to mock my pain.
Silently I ask for answers
from an unresponsive God.
My heartfelt pleas go unanswered
inciting my buried anger.

I blame myself, the world, God
to no avail
for it will not give me my heart's desire.
I continue hunting for success
for wallowing in my failure
brings me only shame.

Failure

Failure
How could you love us Lord?
We are such failures.
We know our duty Lord
We are to love you and spread your word
Bring the lost to you.
We echo prayers of devotion and duty on Sundays
but then return to our self-centered lives.
We swear we will do better
rescue scores of stranded souls
but we don't follow through Lord.
We are frightened.
we fear rejection, ridicule
we don't want to risk our carefully constructed reputations.
our social standing is put before you.
we console ourselves by claiming our lives are a testament to you
that actions speak louder than words.
we don't think of the souls we are condeming to damnation through our inaction.
after all, there is always tomorrow
and someone else would surely be better at this than me.
How can you stand all this Lord?
the temptation to start over must be so strong.
I would understand Lord.
We are such failures.
But you are good Lord.
You haven't abandoned me yet
I know you still have hope for my life
and i thankyou so much Lord.
Anyone else would have labled me as hopeless
but you are known for your sucess with hopeless cases.
I won't promise that I will save the world
for I know that I will only disappoint with my failure.
But i do promise this one thing Lord,
with your help, I will try

Fruitless Impressions

Fruitless Impressions

Why do I try to impress the world
Who does not care if I succeed?
They only watch to see me fail
So they can point and say,
“see? She can not do it
and neither can you!
But try, try anyway
and we will mock your failure too.”

Why do I try to impress the world?
It can not be impressed.
Only one opinion counts
And it is not yours or mine.
Only that of the Creator.

He will not point and mock.
He says to me,
“My child, do not listen to what they say,
for their words are intended to hurt.
Listen to me, my child
For I will pick you up,
Dust you off and
Make you precious.

Listen to my word.
Do as I say
And you shall shine brighter than they.
You will glisten like a diamond,
Shine like a light
And prove to the world all that I am.
Is that not a better goal?”

Why do I not try to impress the world?
Why do I not care what they say?
Because I know
the only opinion that counts.
And it is not yours or mine.